A NOT SO QUEER NIGHT IN SHEFFIELD
In my experience I’ve been lucky enough (although it feels wrong to call it lucky when it should be the normal) to have had no issues after coming out. Other than the, unfortunately expected, men who are desperate for me to prove that I’m into women for their own enjoyment. Or even better, they find it a challenge. Something I hear often is: ‘I can change that for you’. But my friends and my family could not care less who I’m interested in because you can be equally as happy and, as I’ve had to learn, equally as unhappy with any gender.
When moving to Sheffield I thought my queer experiences would flourish and thrive in an accepting city. I’ve now been here for two years and can confirm I have definitely ‘got gayer’ but Sheffield’s gay scene, or lack of, has not played a part in this.
I’m a student so, naturally, I’ll focus on the clubs. If you didn’t already know, the two gay clubs in the city centre are Dempsey’s and Queer Junction. I say if you didn’t know because despite the name, the fact that these are gay clubs can be easily missed. Now sometimes these places can harbour quite a few of us queer people in their sweat box dancing along to the very stereotypical playlist of Britney Spears and Lady Gaga. I don’t want to complain about the music because I think we can all agree they have some fantastic tunes. Some range wouldn’t go a miss though. Believe it or not I have been hit on in these clubs. Only a handful of times but a win is a win.
I think there’s two main problems with these places. The first being that they’re the only clubs in the city that stay open until 6am. This means as soon as it hits 4am; and everywhere shuts; and you are absolutely not ready to return home yet, in fact the nights just started, you grab your friends and charge down The Moor to reach this late-night haven. I’ll be the first to admit I’m extremely guilty of this. Whether I’m part of the community or not I will now only go there between the hours of 3am-6am. I’m aware that this doesn’t help my case on making a safe space for the lgbt+ community but maybe a different club opening just as late could help give us that one place that’s just for us. The second issue is a harder problem to solve. Mainly, because this tends to occur in most spaces meant as a safe space for queer people. It seems both Dempsey’s and Queer Junction aren’t an encouraging environment to meet and talk to people. For me personally, I find it hard to reach out to new people in the clubs and some of my friends would agree. One friend has pointed out to me that it can be because: “it’s hard to tell who is gay and who isn’t when the number of straight people in there largely outweighs us.” I won’t pretend I have the answer to this one. I’ve heard of certain gay clubs not letting people in because they don’t look like they’re queer. Ultimately, this could be worse than keeping it how it is. To be rejected from the community you identify with because you don’t look the part; judged by a bouncer who thinks he can tell your sexuality by seeing if you’re wearing baggy trousers or skinny jeans? I certainly wouldn’t get in.
Luckily, for those of us who don’t get a meet-cute when we venture out into the world, there’s dating apps. As someone whose personality does not shine over text messages, I’ve never been a huge fan of the online dating scene. However, I have given it a go. A lot of my friends have been in great relationships by meeting online, so I had some hope when I set up my own profile. I have gone on about three dates from using it and even though they may not work out it’s always been fun (if not a little scary after reading catfish stories online) and it’s nice to have another way to meet people.
Before this year, I didn’t see the importance of being part of the community and maybe for some people it isn’t important. I always knew it helped some people and representation in media was important for any minority group. But this past year I have gained so much confidence and advice from being able to relate to other people’s similar experiences. Mostly, this comes from my queer friends who have gone through the same things, and I can talk about things I might not be able to with others. So even if I’m not the best example of this, I do think it’s important for Sheffield to create a better scene for lgbt+ people to meet others and have somewhere they feel safe.
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By Aaliyah Dublin